Day 24: Needing to Control

Recently, I’ve noticed that Ally asks me questions. But they are really just several different ways of trying to trick me into giving her the answer she desires. 

To be in control.

“Is cookies healthy?”

“No.”

“Is 1 cookie healthy.”

“Sometimes.”

Then, she’ll stamp her feet and scream hoping that I’ll say yes. Demanding to know if “sometimes” means “yes?”

“Is yogurt healthy?”

“Yes, but just one bowl.”

“Okay give me yogurt.”

“But you just had yogurt.”

“Is yogurt healthy?”

Repeat. 

Then she will ask me for a bath in the middle of the day and ask if it will be dark soon. 

“No.”

Feet stamping, demanding to know why not. 

“It’s not time yet.”

“What does yet mean?”

“Not now.”

“Okay, how about now?”

Eventually, I’ll say,

“Sure.”

“Does sure mean yes?”

“Sure.”

Then there will be screaming. 

She wants things to be black and white.

Not maybe. Not sometimes. Not sure.

Yes or no. 

Yes if she desires it and no if she does not. 

It is one thing for her to want to control how we play games, what toys we play with together, what clothes she wears but her need to control the answers to questions is something else. 

It’s day 24 of Awareness month and this is my word of the day: control. It is all about their need to be in control. Whether it is self-directed behaviors or this. It is all controlling. 

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