My stepson asked me to take him to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show last night.
Hold onto your dirty looks for a few minutes because there is a good lesson in this, I promise.
I told him he probably wouldn’t like it. He begged to differ. He kept asking me what it was about and his father and I made it simple, “It’s about gay aliens,” we told him. I know that is blunt, but its pretty much the plot in four words.
I should bite my tongue because he became even more interested. He calls himself a tween now. He insisted he could handle it and that he was excited to go.
I tried to tell him that it was sold out, but he knew that I was lying. I told him there would be crazy people dressed up and acting out the movie, and he said that is awesome. I don’t think he really knew what he was in for, despite my honest representation of what we were going to see.
When we got there I felt like a horrible parent. While there were some teenagers, there were definitely no kids his age. I was definitely that asshole who brought the youngest kid to the R rated movie. But the lights went out and I figured nobody would really be paying attention anyway.
Not even two minutes into the movie, I turn to Robbie and see him mouthing to me, “WTF?”
We were getting wet during the rain scenes. People were squirting water guns for aesthetics and fun. You’d think a kid would enjoy this but he didn’t.
Then, by the time he had finished singing The Time Warp, he had been toilet papered and the lady behind him kept throwing bread at him. He was livid. He kept asking me when people were going to shut up so he could enjoy the movie. He said, “Why are these people so rude?”
I just laughed. If only he could remember what it was like to go to a movie with him back when he was five.
He looked infuriated, kind of like how moms and dads look when their kids are humiliating them out in public. It pissed him off so much because somebody threw bread and toilet paper at him during the show. And all I could do was an evil little laugh in my mind. Like he could finally understand what his dad, his mom, and I felt when we would take him outside into the world for the first several years of his life.
You want to teach your kids a little lesson on movie theater etiquette? Maybe take them to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show and see how much talking, yelling, singing, throwing things, shooting water guns, and dancing in the aisles drives them crazy.
Cheers to that! 🍷